Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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