Moan for me like Helen Keller
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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