Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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