mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
