We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
