Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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