why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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