I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
