I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
