i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
