I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
