He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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