Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
