Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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