Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
