I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
