wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
