This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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