do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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