It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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