During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
