Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I will pee on everything he values.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
