Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
