I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
