Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
