so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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