I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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