One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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