your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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