why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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