Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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