We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
