im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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