Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
