apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
