Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just had sex bonerless
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
