so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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