I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You had me at "let me see your balls"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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