He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We need to get me chipped asap
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
