babies were throwing up all over the place
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
