Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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