The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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