3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My vagina just recognized that song.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
