once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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