Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
