I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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