No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
