We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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