what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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