That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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