I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
