My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You were trust falling into bushes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
