She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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