She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
